Prologue - Missouri

When you travel for two years straight throughout the vast wonderment of this country, every memory starts to blur together. The sights, the sounds, the weather, the pain, the joy, the people... whatever feeling or experience that is gained, it meshes to form some kind story. Missouri is a place I never enjoyed. I visited on a few occasions, and by the first time, I had my fill. But, this past week I got to experience Springfield, MO, for more than just a simple wave from the highway. I had the pleasure to stay with a very hospitable family for a few days who were more than apt to feed me, house me, and love me. Sometimes, I think we can base our experiences in new places by who has the bigger buildings, the brighter lights, and the colorful scenery, but what I found myself enjoying the most was the personalities that were invested in this "city." Some have lived here their whole lives. Others just came on a whim, got on a plane, and left everything they loved to pursue... well, something. With every tornado that rips through and every bug that screams at you from the trees as you drive by, there are emotions here. Real emotions. And I got to see just that. I shook some hands, gave some hugs, and shouted out some "nice to meet you's." Although, this isn't a place I see myself establishing a life in, their is purpose in the choices we make, and there is purpose in what the Lord wants for our lives. This is where He has me right now...

Tomorrow I leave for tour with The Radiance Effect. If you would have told me two months ago that I would have spent a week in Missouri learning some songs, meeting new people, and preparing for a month long tour, I would have called you a liar. But thank God everything doesn't work out just how we want it. I see the evidence of His love within my time being here. It's hard saying goodbye to something I invested my life into for the past six years, but that's exactly what is wrong with it. I invested my life. I held onto it too closely. This is a fresh start... to surrender, and finally understand what that entails. In all of the commotion, the uncomfortableness, and searching, God is doing something huge things within me. For once I feel it, and for once I can breathe.

God, my identity is not within myself, any band, or any mile in between. It is within you. Work through me, stretch me, and teach me who YOU are, not who I've wanted you to be. You can do all things, and our lives our yours. I can see you now...



DAY FOUR / The White Lights Tour

The Red Airplanes / I'm Alive

from the depths of the ocean to the blue in the sky
from the shades of a rainbow to the cool in the night
these are the ways You make me feel alive
from the blood in my body to the breath in my chest
from the way You forgive me to the way you forget
these are the ways You make me feel alive

I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive

from a prayer down deep in my heart I once said
to the promise that keeps myself moving ahead
that was the day I became alive

I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive

I need You
Lord, I need You
I need You more than life
So much more than life
Jesus, Jesus
more than life


Drove twenty-one hours through the night and made it to Little Rock, AR, around noon time. Put up Christmas lights on my family's house, ate some food, watched a movie. Nuff said. I love my family and I love Arkansas. I miss you all.

Goodbye, Goodnight.


DAY TWO / The White Lights Tour

Number One Fan / The Distance

What would you do if I came through?
I love the distance, it's that you cant take it
How should I feel if you miss the old days?
The look on your face said everything's changing so fast

Call anytime you need,
I have been waiting alone on the road
Call anytime you need,
I have been waiting, I will be waiting

What would you do if this fell through?
I love the distance, it's that you cant take it.
How should I feel if you miss the old days?
The look on your face said everything's changing so fast

Call anytime you need,
I have been waiting alone on the road
Call anytime you need,
I have been waiting, I will be waiting

Call anytime you need,
I have been waiting alone on the road.
(Call anytime, I'll be waiting)
Call anytime you need,
I have been waiting, I will be waiting
(Call anytime, I'll be waiting)


December 4th, 2009

Arizona is ridiculously cold for what we are used to. Last time we visited here, it was somewhere around one- hundred and twenty degrees. Not fun at all. But I must say, this weather is beyond enjoyable. Being able to step out of a house, feel the cold air rush into your veins, and then smell a fire off in the distance is a pleasant feeling. Tonight was our first show of this December run. There were probably around thirty people filtering in and out of the venue we performed at tonight, which, for not being from here, is pretty good. Yeah, it doesn't sound like much, but I get so excited talking to certain local bands and whatnot before and after the shows, no matter where they are at in their musical careers. We set out on this tour for a reason, and it was just cool seeing that reason play out in our conversations with either believers or non-believers. Just as much of an effect we want to have on people who don't care to know the Lord, we found out that we could still have an effect of those even walking with Christ for the time being.

Other than the show, today was pretty relaxed. Between the booking of future shows for multiple tours and watching the family we are staying with interact with their almost a little over a year old baby start to talk and walk, I found some time to run a few errands and just mellow out for the day until the show. HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY- We walked into a Taco Bell prior to the show and found out that it was customer appreciation day at that specific location? Since I was the first to walk in the door, I got to roll two stupid green dice that had a item from the menu on each side. I luckily won some nachos, and then they gave us all some free cinnamon twists. What a good day. Sticking to our three dollar a meal plan finally paid off. Yes.

Well, tomorrow we begin our journey to Arkansas. We are all planning to get up around nine to run a few errands before taking off. Ben ripped his pants tonight. Good times. Time to get some new ones... Please pray for this trip. We have about twenty hours ahead of us, so it will be a long time to be in the van together, but with snacks and multiple music tastes on our ipod's, we will survive. Thank you to our Chandler family for blessing us with a place to stay for these past two nights. Onward we go.

Goodbye, Goodnight.


DAY ONE / The White Lights Tour

Rookie Of The Year / Sooner Or Later (The Next Move)

carolina's rain splashes on my face
florida's sun is watching her every move
kentucky burnt up with the new year, that has to tell you something
I wasn't ready yet to make the next move
no matter what I hear I'll be right here waiting
no matter what you say I'll be on your side
don't ever give up here tonight

sooner or later I know we'll just be dreaming
anywhere you go, I'll still feel you

your necklace around my neck, I'm still wearing
it's all frayed now, but I tied a new knot
no matter what I hear I'll be right here waiting
no matter what you say I'll be on your side
don't ever give up here tonight

sooner or later I know we'll just be dreaming
anywhere you go, I'll still feel you

as I sit around right here, you sit around right there
anywhere you go
feel this way tonight


December 3rd, 2009

After a six hour drive, I'm convinced that it's a beautiful thing to be greeted by a family in a town that you have only been to a handful of times. Over the past year, we have had the privilege of meeting some unique families who constantly pour into this band and open their doors to us time after time. Tonight is just another example of the blessings that have been given to us through our time as a band.

We reached our destination (Chandler, AZ) around 11PM. We forgot that there was an hour time difference, so we were a bit confused upon arrival. The family we are staying with (The Marshall's) have opened up their house to us on numerous occasions while we have passed through this state in our journey as a band this past year. Every time has been a joy, and surely tonight, even though everyone just passed out and went to bed, is still bringing good memories to mind and I'm grateful for a roof over my head for the night.

Today was hard, though. Leaving people. Leaving home. Leaving comfort. But for some reason, there is a peace intertwined within any fears and excitement that today brought. It was good to say the least. I have no idea what the future holds for me and certain things that have been happening in my life, but every day is new, and every day is different, and I am beyond thankful for that. Why be discouraged? Why be negative? I have no reason to be. Yeah, negative things may come to mind, but I quickly have to turn my thoughts in the other direction and run from any attack that is attempting to shake up my faith in what the Lord is doing in my life. It's not easy. It's not enjoyable. But it's what I feel called to do. And I believe I will be able to look back on this certain chapter in my life and view it as a blessing... to see everything in perspective, and to know that I am loved.

We play in Scottsdale, AZ, tomorrow, which is about twenty minutes from where we are staying, so we should be getting plenty of rest to kick this part of the tour off in a positive way. After that, we move onward to Arkansas to spend some time with my family before the actual tour starts in Texas with The Red Airplanes (www.myspace.com/theredairplanes).

So here it goes. I miss home, but I'm ready. With much prayer and thought, the Lord has prepared this tour in exactly how HE wants it to be. Thank you, Lord.

Goodbye, Goodnight.


November 7th (The End To A Run)

Up And Go / The Starting Line

here it goes and this won't take long
just let me dedicate a song
to a girl who'd turn this boy to stone
and you know who you are
here's a hint, she doesnt have a car
or the time to be in love with me

why did you say
this feeling has to stay?
left me to wait for so long

you don't have to stay
but I hope you'll do it anyway
all you did was up and go

excuse me but this won't take long
i'm sorry for writing you this song
but just what do you think you deserve?
because when you had the chance for romance
you burned it at both ends
i guess I'm not sorry at the least

what made you say
this feeling has to stay?
picking yourself for so long


I woke up somewhere in Long Beach at seven this morning. Not getting enough sleep in a van during the long night drives is a very unsettling feeling for me. I don't do well with overnighters and such. It's just not me, but I will do it when it needs to be done. Ben said his farewell's... and we moved on to Mitch's house. There, the other three of us parted ways.

I finally arrived at home about twenty minutes ago, was greeted by my mother, and now am about ready to pass out. The only important thing is that I figured out at the farthest destination within our trip was roughly about 420 miles away from home. Nothing changed. Over the course of the past three days, the majority of music I listened to was from The Starting Line. It's something I grew up with, and now has a new definition for me. If that's weird, then that's fine. But I don't ever want to stray away from what I grew up with and what brings back early memories of being in bands and discovering music for what it really was to me. It's all I have wanted to listen to lately, and I am beyond content with that.

Even in all the miles and days that separated, I still feel the same. I won't be back on here until we leave in early December for our tour around the state of Texas with our good friends in The Red Airplanes. I am excited to see what that distance has in store for me.

For now, farewell and goodnight.


November 6th, 2009 (Short Run)

Need To Love / The Starting Line

Northbound train on a Saturday.
Here I come New York City.
And deep in thought on a little sleep,
Distance took my love away.
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love someone?

I stare at strangers subtly,
Reading and softly speaking.
When Princeton boards, and sits by me.
Sir, can I ask you something?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love someone?
Oh, do you need? (Oh, do you need?)
Oh, do you need? (Oh, do you need?)
Do you need...
Do you need someone?

Sometimes when there is no one to love you back, all the time.
When you're in need and desperate to fall asleep.
Ain't it wild? Oh, aren't you tired?
Oh, isn't it making you lose your mind?

Well do you need to love?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love?


So, I missed yesterday. Big deal.

The place we stayed at the last couple nights had no internet connection, but we finally got connected tonight at the church we are playing at up in Sacramento. The event is called "First Friday" and happens every first friday of the month. We got here a bit early to set up and sound check and already feel that tonight, even though this place isn't exactly built to be a "venue," will be a fun one due to the familiar faces we have seen walk through the doors thus far.

It's always an encouraging thing to see people who have supported you over the years and who keep coming back to see you when you are in town. It makes these long drives and stretched days more than worth it. So, needless to say, I am stoked to play the show tonight amidst Chris being sick and this being Mitch's second show with us. I look forward to it.

So, all that happened yesterday was Chris and I going to the bank and finally opening up a bank account for the band. I filled out some paper work months ago to get our business license, but just haven't found the time to set stuff up at the bank until yesterday. But, we are finally a business and have an account set up, which we were more than ecstatic about!

Well, I don't have much time on here, but we are leaving after the show ends tonight to head back home, so please keep us in your prayers tonight as you go to bed. It will be a long drive for us (about seven hours?). I look forward to being with friends and family again though! It was a great time to get away and breath for a couple days. I hope to see most of you soon!

I still feel the same. All I did was listen to music in the van today that reminded me of exactly who this person is to me. My thoughts don't stray away. What feels right within my heart doesn't fade. Farewell friends.


November 4th, 2009 (Short Run)

Surprise Surprise / The Farewell Circuit

I thought that I lost you
I thought you were so gone
I thought you had left me
Thought you were so far gone and I was left alone.

I thought that you wanted,
me to be someone,
me to be someone
me to be somebody else
So I changed myself

If you become my everything
If you become…

You changed your mind

I thought that you came back
but then you just turned back
And I was left there crying on my knees
Crying on my knees

But to my surprise you stuck around
Surprise surprise
But to my surprise…


So I decided to keep my blog going while I am out on the road.

Today, we embarked on a three day journey to San Luis Obispo, Sacramento, and back. As we filled up for gas this morning around lunch time, I noticed a huge puddle of liquid underneath the car, so I uneasily knelt to the ground to see what was up. Some older gentlemen next to me started describing what it could have been. I in no way remember what he was saying, because of my non existent knowledge of cars, but I was thankful for his time. It stopped leaking though, so we decided to continue on to Ben's (our sound guy) house.

It was great being with each other again. All of the touring memories quickly came to mind and collectively were in a great mood. But a new and exciting thing about this trip so far was that it was our new drummers (Mitch Krebs) first show with us. What better way to kick it off than being on the road together for this short amount of time? So all in all, we were all excited to leave home for these few upcoming days.

We are currently at the Downtown Brew in San Luis Obispo playing with some local bands, and our new friends in Nothing Ever Stays, who were gracious enough to set this show up for us and promote it like crazy. They have worked very hard for this, so guys, thank you very much for all of your hard work. I hope to pay you back some time in the near future when needed.

I am literally in the "green room" with bits and pieces of the green walls missing and out of place. This venue has been a favorite of ours over the last couple months. So needless to say, we are happy to back!

Well, as the bands set up and sound check, we look forward to seeing how tonight ends up! With prayer, we feel set to go, so if anyone is reading this, please be praying for us tonight and for the show we have in Sacramento on Friday night. I sincerely miss all of my friends back at home, and even though lots has happened this past week, I know the Lord has been stirring something huge in my heart and in the hearts of others. Even if there is more pain to come, I believe God has the best in store, even when I think I already know what's best.

I still feel the same. Farewell for now.