When you travel for two years straight throughout the vast wonderment of this country, every memory starts to blur together. The sights, the sounds, the weather, the pain, the joy, the people... whatever feeling or experience that is gained, it meshes to form some kind story. Missouri is a place I never enjoyed. I visited on a few occasions, and by the first time, I had my fill. But, this past week I got to experience Springfield, MO, for more than just a simple wave from the highway. I had the pleasure to stay with a very hospitable family for a few days who were more than apt to feed me, house me, and love me. Sometimes, I think we can base our experiences in new places by who has the bigger buildings, the brighter lights, and the colorful scenery, but what I found myself enjoying the most was the personalities that were invested in this "city." Some have lived here their whole lives. Others just came on a whim, got on a plane, and left everything they loved to pursue... well, something. With every tornado that rips through and every bug that screams at you from the trees as you drive by, there are emotions here. Real emotions. And I got to see just that. I shook some hands, gave some hugs, and shouted out some "nice to meet you's." Although, this isn't a place I see myself establishing a life in, their is purpose in the choices we make, and there is purpose in what the Lord wants for our lives. This is where He has me right now...
Tomorrow I leave for tour with The Radiance Effect. If you would have told me two months ago that I would have spent a week in Missouri learning some songs, meeting new people, and preparing for a month long tour, I would have called you a liar. But thank God everything doesn't work out just how we want it. I see the evidence of His love within my time being here. It's hard saying goodbye to something I invested my life into for the past six years, but that's exactly what is wrong with it. I invested my life. I held onto it too closely. This is a fresh start... to surrender, and finally understand what that entails. In all of the commotion, the uncomfortableness, and searching, God is doing something huge things within me. For once I feel it, and for once I can breathe.
God, my identity is not within myself, any band, or any mile in between. It is within you. Work through me, stretch me, and teach me who YOU are, not who I've wanted you to be. You can do all things, and our lives our yours. I can see you now...
