November 7th (The End To A Run)

Up And Go / The Starting Line

here it goes and this won't take long
just let me dedicate a song
to a girl who'd turn this boy to stone
and you know who you are
here's a hint, she doesnt have a car
or the time to be in love with me

why did you say
this feeling has to stay?
left me to wait for so long

you don't have to stay
but I hope you'll do it anyway
all you did was up and go

excuse me but this won't take long
i'm sorry for writing you this song
but just what do you think you deserve?
because when you had the chance for romance
you burned it at both ends
i guess I'm not sorry at the least

what made you say
this feeling has to stay?
picking yourself for so long

-

I woke up somewhere in Long Beach at seven this morning. Not getting enough sleep in a van during the long night drives is a very unsettling feeling for me. I don't do well with overnighters and such. It's just not me, but I will do it when it needs to be done. Ben said his farewell's... and we moved on to Mitch's house. There, the other three of us parted ways.

I finally arrived at home about twenty minutes ago, was greeted by my mother, and now am about ready to pass out. The only important thing is that I figured out at the farthest destination within our trip was roughly about 420 miles away from home. Nothing changed. Over the course of the past three days, the majority of music I listened to was from The Starting Line. It's something I grew up with, and now has a new definition for me. If that's weird, then that's fine. But I don't ever want to stray away from what I grew up with and what brings back early memories of being in bands and discovering music for what it really was to me. It's all I have wanted to listen to lately, and I am beyond content with that.

Even in all the miles and days that separated, I still feel the same. I won't be back on here until we leave in early December for our tour around the state of Texas with our good friends in The Red Airplanes. I am excited to see what that distance has in store for me.

For now, farewell and goodnight.

November 6th, 2009 (Short Run)

Need To Love / The Starting Line

Northbound train on a Saturday.
Here I come New York City.
And deep in thought on a little sleep,
Distance took my love away.
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love someone?

I stare at strangers subtly,
Reading and softly speaking.
When Princeton boards, and sits by me.
Sir, can I ask you something?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love someone?
Oh, do you need? (Oh, do you need?)
Oh, do you need? (Oh, do you need?)
Do you need...
Do you need someone?

Sometimes when there is no one to love you back, all the time.
When you're in need and desperate to fall asleep.
Ain't it wild? Oh, aren't you tired?
Oh, isn't it making you lose your mind?

Well do you need to love?
Do you need to love?
Do you need to love?

-

So, I missed yesterday. Big deal.

The place we stayed at the last couple nights had no internet connection, but we finally got connected tonight at the church we are playing at up in Sacramento. The event is called "First Friday" and happens every first friday of the month. We got here a bit early to set up and sound check and already feel that tonight, even though this place isn't exactly built to be a "venue," will be a fun one due to the familiar faces we have seen walk through the doors thus far.

It's always an encouraging thing to see people who have supported you over the years and who keep coming back to see you when you are in town. It makes these long drives and stretched days more than worth it. So, needless to say, I am stoked to play the show tonight amidst Chris being sick and this being Mitch's second show with us. I look forward to it.

So, all that happened yesterday was Chris and I going to the bank and finally opening up a bank account for the band. I filled out some paper work months ago to get our business license, but just haven't found the time to set stuff up at the bank until yesterday. But, we are finally a business and have an account set up, which we were more than ecstatic about!

Well, I don't have much time on here, but we are leaving after the show ends tonight to head back home, so please keep us in your prayers tonight as you go to bed. It will be a long drive for us (about seven hours?). I look forward to being with friends and family again though! It was a great time to get away and breath for a couple days. I hope to see most of you soon!

I still feel the same. All I did was listen to music in the van today that reminded me of exactly who this person is to me. My thoughts don't stray away. What feels right within my heart doesn't fade. Farewell friends.

November 4th, 2009 (Short Run)

Surprise Surprise / The Farewell Circuit

I thought that I lost you
I thought you were so gone
I thought you had left me
Thought you were so far gone and I was left alone.

I thought that you wanted,
me to be someone,
me to be someone
me to be somebody else
So I changed myself

If you become my everything
If you become…

You changed your mind

I thought that you came back
but then you just turned back
And I was left there crying on my knees
Crying on my knees

But to my surprise you stuck around
Surprise surprise
But to my surprise…

-

So I decided to keep my blog going while I am out on the road.

Today, we embarked on a three day journey to San Luis Obispo, Sacramento, and back. As we filled up for gas this morning around lunch time, I noticed a huge puddle of liquid underneath the car, so I uneasily knelt to the ground to see what was up. Some older gentlemen next to me started describing what it could have been. I in no way remember what he was saying, because of my non existent knowledge of cars, but I was thankful for his time. It stopped leaking though, so we decided to continue on to Ben's (our sound guy) house.

It was great being with each other again. All of the touring memories quickly came to mind and collectively were in a great mood. But a new and exciting thing about this trip so far was that it was our new drummers (Mitch Krebs) first show with us. What better way to kick it off than being on the road together for this short amount of time? So all in all, we were all excited to leave home for these few upcoming days.

We are currently at the Downtown Brew in San Luis Obispo playing with some local bands, and our new friends in Nothing Ever Stays, who were gracious enough to set this show up for us and promote it like crazy. They have worked very hard for this, so guys, thank you very much for all of your hard work. I hope to pay you back some time in the near future when needed.

I am literally in the "green room" with bits and pieces of the green walls missing and out of place. This venue has been a favorite of ours over the last couple months. So needless to say, we are happy to back!

Well, as the bands set up and sound check, we look forward to seeing how tonight ends up! With prayer, we feel set to go, so if anyone is reading this, please be praying for us tonight and for the show we have in Sacramento on Friday night. I sincerely miss all of my friends back at home, and even though lots has happened this past week, I know the Lord has been stirring something huge in my heart and in the hearts of others. Even if there is more pain to come, I believe God has the best in store, even when I think I already know what's best.

I still feel the same. Farewell for now.

"The Clearing" Releases Today!

The time has come....

We recently signed to Dreamt Music/Facedown Records, who are re-releasing our album, "The Clearing," today! This will have completely new artwork inside and out...

We are having a free in-store acoustic performance at the Best Buy in Fullerton tonight starting at 6, so please, friends, if you are available, come out and support us... This is free, and we don't do acoustic shows too often!

Also, our album should be in all the Best Buy's and Hot Topics on the west coast as of tomorrow, so if you live in another town and can't make the show, then please go pick up a copy!

Thank you for all of your support over the years. This band is truly blessed to have the friends that have been so involved. I'm excited to see what steps the Lord has for us in the near future. I send my love to every single one of you, my friends, who reads this. Thank you for everything...

Day Twelve / April Tour

A Melody, The Memory / Mae

Is that your song I hear playing?
'Cause I'm feeling it too
Does it take all direction, all control over you?

When you sing do you slip away?
Back to that place in your mind?
Let our love be the one thing you wont leave behind

Rewind and play
Time to go backwards again
I'm moved by the way
All the notes in time make the melody
Hold me and sway into the moment we share
Where we can stay so attached to the memory

How I long just to hold you
And see you let go as we dance
I know you're reminiscing through our romance
Can you hear the piano?
And the pulse of the drums?
Does the tune and the groove bring you back to our love?
Oh, come and find it honey...

Rewind and play
Time to go backwards again
I'm moved by the way
All the notes in time make the melody
Night into day
Can we move onward from here?
Where we can stay on and on attached to the memory

Oh I know you can feel it
Let it take you there
(Oh-oh oh)

Rewind and play
Time to go backwards again
I'm moved by the way
All the notes in time make a sweet melody
Night into day
We have been captured again
A new time and place to make a million new memories

-

So, I forgot to share one thing about our last show with Brightwood the other night. Even though both bands had long drives ahead of them, we decided to find a park around ten at night to have a farewell barbecue. There were a couple of signs posted saying that it was closed after sunset... but hey, it was our last time together for a while... why would that stop us?  As we were there, a police car passed by a few times, but it was almost as if he understood the situation as it was and let continue to have our fun together. We cooked some hamburgers, ate some chips, drank some soda... classic. We will genuinely miss those boys...

As for today goes, it is Josh's first show with us at The Knitting Factory. We practiced last night, and I feel that he did extremely well. There is something about his style that I feel we have been missing out on for a long time... I'm ready for this new chapter in our lives as a band and individuals. If anyone is available to come out tonight and support us in this transition, then we would greatly appreciate it, and even if not, thank you for your support and prayers throughout the years. We couldn't ask for more.

I leave for Arkansas in four days... I couldn't be more excited. My cousin is graduating from high school, so it will be cool to be there for her and support her as a family. Though, it will be a crazy process getting out there beforehand... we have a show in Fresno the night before I leave, so basically we will drive home from the show after we finish, drop me off at the airport on the way home, wait at the airport until my flight leaves around seven in the morning, fly out, arrive around two, then grab a car that my uncle is leaving at the airport for me to rush over to where the ceremony is. Seems hectic, but I'm up for the challenge.

Well, again, please come out tonight if you can! Hopefully, I will be seeing some of you there!

Day Eleven / April Tour

Island / Mainstay

In an old apartment waiting for the walls to move
Praying that someone, hoping that no one intrudes
Living like an actor, feeling like a poet bruised

But no man is an island

Lay down your robe, leper or rogue,
keep yourself open here
Don't let the cold close to your soul, lonely tonight

Passing like a shadow, never letting anyone see
Maybe I'm biased, but I don't think you know
the first thing about me

But no man is an island

Lay down your robe, leper or rogue,
keep yourself open here
Don't let the cold close to your soul,
no one is free come light
Heavier stones think to themselves,
that they're alone here
But everyone grieves and everyone feels lonely tonight

Don't tell me you know, when I know you don't

-

We finally arrived in town around eight this morning. I am currently sitting in my living room watching Friends and just got finished with some Molca Salsa. I just had to.

Well, the tour technically isn't over... Chris and I head out to Simi Valley around four to practice with our new permanent drummer, Josh Jeffers, to prepare for his first show with us tomorrow at The Knitting Factory. I am excited for this because not only are we playing on the main stage, but this is the start of something new. Ever since we lost our old drummer, God has provided in every step we have taken, and this is just one of the many ways He has been taking care of us. Josh is so solid, and I am beyond excited to get to know him more and start a new journey together.

So for now, I think I am going to get some rest. We drove all night. I feel like I'm partially dying.

Pray for us though as we practice tonight and head out to the show tomorrow! I miss my family and friends very much and won't see anyone until Wednesday when we get back home... but give me a call if you want to hang out on either Wednesday or Thursday before I leave for Fresno for a show then head out to Arkansas. Talk to you soon?

Day Ten / April Tour

The Distance / Number One Fan

What would you do if I came through?
I love the distance, it's that you cant take it
How should I feel if you miss the old days?
The look on your face said everything's changing so fast

Call anytime you need, I have been waiting alone on the road
Call anytime you need, I have been waiting, I will be waiting

What would you do if this fell through?
I love the distance, it's that you cant take it.
How should I feel if you miss the old days?
The look on your face said everything's changing so fast

Call anytime you need, I have been waiting alone on the road
Call anytime you need, I have been waiting, I will be waiting

-

Today we part ways with our good friends in Brightwood. Even though it has been a short run, I wouldn't trade these past two weeks for anything. It was too short overall... But keep them in their prayers as they drive up fro Los Angeles today and us as we travel to meet them up in Sacramento. We only have about a two hour drive today, so not bad at all...

As I look forward to tonight, I am not excited at all to leave these dudes. They are so solid as people and musicians, and we had the chance to really connect with them while staying at their house a few days ago in Oregon. The singer and I tracked a new song I have been working on while we were there, and the experience is something that I am having trouble leaving behind in the past. Though, I will remember it from now on and just see it as a blessing that we had the chance to actually shake their hands before they blow up in this industry. They have such a bright future ahead of them...

Tonight isn't officially the last date on the tour, seeing as we play The Knitting Factory on the fifth with Falling Up and Ruth on the main stage. If anyone is in town, please come to this show to welcome our new drummer, Josh! We will be jamming with him tomorrow during the day in Simi Valley and preparing for the show, so technically, tonight isn't the last show, which I find very exciting!

As of last night goes, Chris and I had the chance to talk about things that have been going on during this tour. All I need to say is that it was beyond a blessing finally getting things off our chests and moving on to finish this tour strong. The devil loves to hinder you when you attempt to glorify God through your actions and abilities... but not this time. After we got to chat, we played a sweet show. It wasn't the best sounding... I know it... but with everything on the table from each individual in the band, I believe people saw our hearts last night while on stage. And that is our goal exactly... for others to see something different in us... but not only on stage, but off as well. We must of done something right. We made so many new friends last night while chatting after the show at the church and at Yogurt Time afterwards.

Well, as this tour comes to an end, I realize I have been stretched alongside with my fellow band mates and even my friends that are out on the road right now as we speak in the south and east coasts. Friends, we have gone through so many things these past couple weeks/months... I'm honored to know each and every one of you and look forward to getting some hugs in and sharing our thoughts, ideas and stories about what exactly God did these past few months.

I will see you soon...

Day Nine / April Tour

The Heart Is An Anchor / Lakes

I saw the sea, pulled you into a dream, said, "It's ok."
I said, "I'll make you queen to leave everything. It's ok."
They said, "Love is a waiting game,
Time is enough to make the best fall apart,
You're a boy with a wondering soul,
You're going blind into the dark."

When your young, you take your own advice.
And when your tired, you stay up every night.
When it's love, you're just a fool, but your heart is an anchor.

Well, I fell asleep weighing my dreams, and it's ok.
You can tell me I'm wrong, and I'll tell you I'm weak, and it's ok.
'Cause life is a reckless storm,
Time is enough to put some light in the dark.
I'm a boy with a wondering soul,
Not going down without a spark, spark, spark.

When you're young, you take your own advice.
And when you're tired, you stay up every night.
When it's love, you're just a fool, but your heart is an anchor.

When it's real, you'll get through anything.
When you're poor, you'll live off what you see.
And when you're stretched and have nothing left, well then love is an anchor.

I fell asleep weighing my dreams, and it's ok.

Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll tell you I'm weak, and its ok. 

-

It seems that we are finally on our homeward stretch. 

Currently, we are in Petaluma, California, at a new found friends apartment.  We just got back from lunch at a mexican restaurant where we ate an eighteen inch burrito. We couldn't even finish it between five dudes. But, once again, I am full when we shouldn't have even been able to afford anything. The Lord continues to provide for us.

We had to make six or so hour drive back into California the other night alongside Brightwood on the freeway, and during that time, Zack (our fill in touring drummer) had the chance to converse about some deep things. One thing that seemed to stand out about our conversation that night was how we are loved unconditionally. I feel like I have been back and forth with God on this whole tour, making mistakes daily, but still, we are making it from place to place. I have the opportunity to shower frequently... I constantly had food in my stomach... I don't deserve any of these things, and I honestly know that. We shouldn't have even been allowed to leave for this tour in the first place.

Over the course of this tour, I have been able to see the existence of God more and more. Sure, I can't convince everyone in this world that there is something greater to live for... it is something that everyone needs to experience for themselves... but for myself, I am beyond grateful for this tour. I don't deserve one ounce of love. I don't deserve any money to get from place to place. I don't deserve the opportunity to meet all these kids and promoters every night. But the fact of the matter is that it is given to me as a gift. I literally feel like God is actually handing me things wrapped up in a little box with a pretty bow on top. When Zack and I were talking, I couldn't help but get incredibly frustrated about how undeserving I am. But again, the fact of the matter is that I am loved. Unconditionally.

Enough said.

Day Six / April Tour

Paralytic / Dead Poetic

Paint the lines on perfect eyes that circle the object of
My sincere affection, my undivided attention.

Lie where you won’t see yourself in that way.
And we’ll ride to somewhere.

All we are is paralyzed from the face down.
We’re still alive with our fake smiles.
When the camera’s away.

Don’t remember this. No, don’t remember this.
We are losing it all, but we are gaining the world with our hands tied.
Your arms placed upon mine.
And the sky looks so right, and you’re mine tonight.

Lie where you won’t see yourself in that way.
And we’ll ride...

All we are is paralyzed from the face down.
We’re still alive with our fake smiles.
When the camera’s away

-

I haven't written in a couple days. I apologize.

To be honest... we were in Tacoma the other day and I had written up a whole new post but then suddenly lost internet connection. It was pretty lame.

Well, as of now, we are near Portland, Oregon, at our friends in Brightwood's house. If you have never given them a listen, I urge you now to head over to their myspace page. The songs structures, melodies, and lyrics are beautiful. Never have I been so proud to be on the road. It has been an honor to share the stage with them on this tour thus far.

Last night's show has been the best experience by far on this tour. There was a great crowd and we had the chance to see some familiar faces. When people drive hours to see you, the feeling is unexplainable. Thank you to all our friends and family that continue to come out to our shows and support us. We would have been done the day we started this band if it wasn't for you. Thank you.

Today, I am oblivious as to what we are doing. Some of the dudes in Brightwood are cooking us some breakfast/lunch as of now, so we will be spending as much time with them as possible, then probably heading out to Corvallis and Eugene to be with some good old friends.

Thank you for keeping us in your prayers! And if you haven't noticed, each day I listen to so much music, but I like to post the lyrics to the songs that impacted me the most on that day. If you haven't heard of any of these bands, then please, check them out. Give them a listen. They make what we are doing currently worth it. 

I hope you are all well...

Day Three / April Tour

I Woke Up Near The Sea / Lydia

So it's another night in my bed
'Cause I can't sleep
And oh, it wears on your shoulders
Just please don't ever leave
Me here, don't ever leave
Don't you leave

Start out like a sailor
And bring back all you need
So everyone else can
Try and get some sleep

It turns out you were into yourself
It turns out you could find your way out
Just once more for my baby girl

It turns out you were into yourself
It turns out you could find your way out

And so I woke up near the sea,
Sailing in my dreams
You are already falling back in love with me
Just fall back in love, yeah
Just fall back in love

It's just the season on your back
It's just the way we know to act

It turns out you were into yourself
It turns out you could find your way out
Just once more for my baby girl

And no one ever knew...

-

Thirteen hours. Sacramento to Seattle. We had one night/morning to complete this. We arrived in Seattle around seven this morning. I ended up driving eight of the hours voluntarily because of how peaceful the outlines of trees and interstates seemed to flow together with the moon quietly existing in the background. We passed Weed, which is located about an hour or so below the Oregon borderline, and honestly, it has to be one of my favorite places that we pass through every time on the west coast.

Ben thought it would be a good idea to locate a church in the area to pull the van into and sleep. When I awoke, I found donuts on my lap. Seeing as it was Sunday, there were people walking around outside, and to my knowledge, Ben and Zack were out and about talking to people in the parking lot, and someone decided to buy us some breakfast with how low our budget for food is. Praise the Lord.

When I got out of the van, I saw a man getting out of his car with his wife. They quickly approached me and starting conversing with me. We were already planning on attending a service, but they invited us to come in and sit with them. After the service, they invited us to their house, which is where I am currently typing this... Honestly, I have nothing to complain about whatsoever. These people have been so gracious to us, and immediately opened their home to us. We now have food in our bellies and have clean hair on our heads.

Wade and Stacy Olinger.... thank you so much for blessing us. We will never forget this moment.

As of yesterdays show went, it was pretty cool. We always enjoy playing in Orangevale due to the reaction we get from kids. But as of now, this seems to be the highlight of yesterday/this morning. I cannot express the gratitude and feelings that are running through my body right now.

Lord, thank you for taking care of us...